Saga Poem

The Twilight Saga.
Edward Cullen, Bella Swan.
Meyer thinks she may have won
all of us over, got us hooked-
on this sad excuse for a book.
This “international phenomenon” has brainwashed the nation.
Or at least half of the world’s female population.
Well, maybe not. There are some now
that aren’t sucked in, and are wondering how
this series had got everyone gushing over the story
it’s not that great-does it really deserve all this glory?
Who wants to read the never ending ranting?
By Bella-about how Edward’s so enchanting?
What’s with him, anyway? What makes him stand
and make other males appear so bland?
That crooked smile, the copper hair
or his ‘vegetarian’ diet of lion and bear?
Edward Cullen; he’s supposedly perfect.
And beautiful-but last time I checked,
boys did not appreciate, girls blabbing on about
this fiction vampire-and why do they always shout
and scream, whenever his name is spoken?
Or because he’s not real, their hearts are broken?
So what-he’s “hot,” but did you consider too
that he’s basically a stalker-or is that alright with you?
Edward Cullen, get a life!
Even though Bella is your wife-
Since nineteen oh one, your life had no meaning
Then along Bella came-what? Are you dreaming?
Of all the girls, you had to choose
The whiny, wimpy, clingy goose.
What’s wrong with you? Is it messing with your head? (your anti-gravity hairstyle)
Or-most likely-were you, perhaps, becoming old and senile?
One hundred and eight years, is, after all, an awfully long time,
perhaps it’s started to affect your omniscient mind.
And as for Miss Isabella Swan
Why would she so gladly swap
Her human life for a vampire one?
Doesn’t she know-you can’t have any fun
When you’re constantly trying not to eat your friend
Where’s your common sense? This won’t be a happy end.
How much can you take? Can you read any more?
Or does all this talk make you sick to the core?
But that’s it for now. I don’t have enough time
to come up with another defamatory line.
Although, this was fun; but I find it confusing-
writing about something I hate turned out to be amusing
Not as boring, as I would have thought.
But I guess that’s what happens when you’re so caught
up in expressing you detestation of twilight
in a friendly poetic manner- without causing a fight
And if you didn’t get it-let me set this straight
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
The Twilight Saga

>:(-- And that, my friend, is an angry face. To show you my extreme distaste, for that pile of grovel We call Meyer’s “fantastic” novel.